Self-determination and self-respect are the mandatory keys most sad people need to grasp the concept of taking full responsibility for and management over their own lives. till they notice this key, dissatisfied people dream that there’s somebody else who will create it better, who will take total care of them, who is responsible for them a lot of effectively than they’ll. This condemns them to find out the one that will protect and look after them.
Self-Reliance and happiness begin we realize how false and harmful this dream is; after we understand that nobody will take care of us better which only we are responsible for our lives; and when we begin to find out effective ways for doing these things ourselves.
By developing self-reliance and independence, which is the ability to take care of and be responsible for yourself, you acquire:
(1) Emotional Competence: The emotional tools necessary to free yourself from dependency. To be responsible is to be able to build effective decisions and choices for yourself, to weigh alternatives, and to evaluate moral dilemmas and solve issues. Once a problem arises, the independent person has acquired the skills it takes to face it squarely, learns as much as possible about it, considers several options, weighs the possible outcome of every option, and maybe seeks advice and counsel before reaching a decision. As an independent and self-reliant person, you’ll be able to ask directly for help, but you stay in charge of how much and what reasonably assist you to accept, and you create clear agreements regarding what’s expected in return.
(2) Inner Role Model: once you develop self-sufficiency and independence within yourself, you also area unit developing the role models that change you to choose appropriate friends and a suitable mate. The interaction you have with yourself is a model for all of your other relationships. For example, if you criticize yourself frequently, you are more probably to stay around others who are critical because it feels familiar.
Likewise, self-reliance and independence in yourself also help you see it in others. Once you have a caring, responsible relationship with yourself, you develop an inside relationship model to use as a basis for your friendships and intimate relationships with others. As you become more experienced at identifying healthy friendships, your circle of good friends grows-beginning with your relationship with yourself, expanding to a few new friends, and eventually growing into a supportive “family” of choice who reinforce your autonomy and independence.
(3) Self-Understanding: You gain the understanding that you are responsible for yourself and should learn whatever you would like to make your life successful, practical and happy; instead of waiting around for somebody else, or trying to realize another’s approval.
Taking care of and being responsible for yourself requires skills that are typically learned in early childhood. However, we do not always get the healthy positive examples we need, therefore we get older without the necessary learning. This is not unusual, or entirely the fault of our parents. If you were step by step educated and inspired to be self-reliant from early childhood, you’d learn the necessary skills and attitudes for autonomous living one step at a time. Unfortunately for several of us, our parents weren’t trained in autonomy either, and could not teach us.
Even the popular idea of parents’ “responsibility” for kids will be counter-productive. parents who see their role as controlling their offspring instead of teaching them to make decisions on their own teach them children dependency instead of independence.
Another reason self-reliance will seem difficult is that most of our society actively discourages it. Media images of love and caring, a parental “I know what is best for you” attitude among serving to professionals, religious and political figures, and therefore the generally accepted idea of parents’ “duty” create an environment in which independence appears to be selfish and alien. We are educated to value caring for others to the purpose of martyrdom and to take care of ourselves as “self-centered” and “egotistic”.
When faced with a brand new experience, as long as they feel safe and unthreatened, young kids are extremely motivated to explore and learn. Secure toddlers are overwhelmingly drawn to bright colors, new sounds, and new experiences-they realize your jingly car keys fascinating. To a child who has a supportive, loving, functional parents, the world is a fun, safe place to be, and learning is exciting and exhilarating. Kids who feel secure are compelled by their joy in learning to venture forth, to start to take little risks, and start to act independently of their parents. It’s in taking these risks, under parental direction and support at first, and increasingly independently as the kid grows older, that the required skills of self-sufficiency are initially learned.
Independence grows out of those healthy learning experiences. Through taking risks, we learn the way to solve issues, and also a way to deal effectively with disappointment and failure. when we have learned these skills, our experiences with life are successful, producing confidence that we will accept ourselves to experiment, to solve new issues we encounter, and to comfort our disappointment and correct our mistakes. When we recognize these things, we all know we can take care of ourselves.
Nobody can make you happy until you’re happy with yourself first. Sheetal Academy‘s motivational sessions help you to make yourself happy and motivate your life. “Contact us” or direct “Enquiry” to join our Internal Transformation class in Surat.